What might be missing in your life…

Life goes on, it always goes on. And on. And on. And on. And as much as I like to tell myself that I can control or predict or manipulate what is coming towards me – if I’m really honest with myself I have to surrender to that fact that I have no clue what life has in store for me. So let’s be real for a moment:

Life is the true boss. All I can do is choose how I respond.

When I was a little girl, it seemed to be quite fun to wake up in the morning and let myself be surprised by what would unfold in the day to come. “Just be yourself, that’s all you need,” was the title of the song that this little girl’s soul was humming.

But as I grew older, that little girl learned quickly that the world runs on more currencies than just the melody of her true self. Turned out, many aspects of this world run on approval and success. On the number of friends, of blog followers and Instagram likes. On being beautiful and radiant, forever young, forever confident and forever happy.  Any verses of slowness and clumsiness, of sadness and melancholy, of losing the plot every once in a while, of being imperfect or introverted had to be edited out of the song.

Turns out though, those verses didn’t stop playing. They just were muted, creating disharmony inside of myself – because they turned into beliefs that certain parts inside of me weren’t ‘allowed’ to be - creating disconnection internally and externally.

For a few years now I have noticed that the yearning underneath everything I do is the desire for connection – internally and externally. For the permission to let all my parts be seen and the courage to connect with all parts of the beings around me.

Interestingly enough, according to many the leading experts on addiction, the lack of connection is the very breeding ground for addiction. And so as I have been diving deep in my studies around addiction, movement and the expression of the true self, I have found that to be the truth in so many of my habits. The moment I create permission for connection in my life, the addictive patterns soften.

It makes sense: the moments I feel I have to hide who I am and close my heart are the moments when it feels unbearable to keep up with the expectations of the world, tempting me to numb or distract myself with addictive behavior. So if we don’t make room for connection, we actually make room for addiction, depression and disease. And when I say addiction yes I am referring to drugs and alcohol as much as phones, social media, coffee, work, chocolate, food – and countless other substances or habits that only you know might be your comfort spot.

So I decided that finding and maintaining connection in my life is the highest priority for leading a life that feels worth living, a life that feels fulfilled.

I feel called to share my personal list of how I create connection in my own life in the hope that it might serve someone out there.

I cultivate connection in my life …

•      … by creating habits that connect me to the voice of my soul. For me, those practices include different styles of meditation and breathing exercises.

•      … by spending time in nature surrounded by fresh air, plants and animals. (Hugging trees isn’t just for hippies)

•      … through physical touch. Newborn babies die without touch. As we grow older we might cultivate the capacity to survive without it but that doesn’t mean we can thrive without it. Having hugs, cuddles and encouraging pats on the shoulder is a brilliant way to feel connected to myself and others. Treating myself with massages every once in a while is another powerful way to nurture the need for touch.

•      … by cultivating friendships and relationships with individuals who honor, love and encourage the expression of who I am. We don’t shut each other down when we have sad, depressed or messy moments and encourage honest, genuine communication.

•      … by choosing to surround myself with people who aren’t afraid of change. We celebrate each other’s transformation even though it can be scary or uncomfortable at times.

•      …through creativity. One way for me to feel connected to my own soul and to the soul of the world is through creative expression. If this intimidates you I highly encourage you to read the book ‘The Artist’s way’ to discover the artist hiding inside of you.

•      …by allowing space for rest in my life. When I pack my life and schedule too full and start feeling overwhelmed by what life throws at me, I lose feeling excited about life altogether. As soon as I create some spaciousness in my schedule to allow rest and recharge I feel more connected again.

•      … by allowing spontaneous adventures. Life is unpredictable anyways…so when I consciously let myself be surprised by joyful activities I feel less resentful to life surprising me. Book a weekend getaway. Call a friend to go on a hike with you. Go to a concert. Enjoy this moment you have!

Thank you gorgeous soul for reading my words. If you have a personal way that brings connection in your own life, please do share it with me by responding to this email or commenting on today’s Instagram post – you might make a difference in someone’s life.