The Hardest Thing I'll Ever Do →
Where I’ve Been (and What’s Been Moving Me)
This year has been full. Full of beauty and ache. Of creative fire and quiet unraveling. There have been moments when I’ve felt wildly inspired and others where the tenderness of being human cracked me wide open. Some days are filled with inspiration, others with tears.
As Jaya turned one, something shifted in me. A threshold. A new kind of becoming.
Earlier this year, in the thick of sleepless nights and full days of meetings, I had a moment that stopped me. I looked at everything on my plate and suddenly saw it differently: Ananda Soul is my first baby.
The thought arrived like a whisper but landed like a truth I had somehow missed. Ananda was my firstborn and has been with me for over a decade, growing alongside me, shaping me. And like any teenager, she’s changing. She needs tending, too. She’s not done growing. And she deserves my attention, my love, my showing up. She needs my presence and devotion.
That realization cracked something open. There was a shift.
I’d been working a lot, moving fast, providing for my family, doing what needed to be done. But this realization deeply reminded me of my why, of the love at the center of it all.
I finally began meditating again and leaned more into my poetry. I also started dancing more again, sometimes only for the length of one song, but even that five-minute outburst changes everything. These little rituals, this returning to myself are how I’ve begun filling my own cup again. Making space for self and cells. Not always gracefully. But intentionally and mindfully.
This dance between showing up for my business and showing up for my daughter, between emails and teething, between design reviews and bedtime stories, is anything but linear. I still find myself wiping up vomit at 3am and logging into marketing calls at 8am. It’s not polished. It’s raw and real and humbling and often messy.
And then there are the sparks, the extra little gifts. The sacred glimpses that remind me why I do this at all: designing something that makes my chest flutter, releasing a new collection, receiving a message from someone who tells me that a piece we made held them through their own unraveling.
This is the holy tension I live inside.
A dance between devotion and duty.
Between tending to the world I’ve built and the world I’m still becoming.
Poetry as a Lifeline
I’ve been writing poetry for a few years now. It’s a practice that has sustained me, like prayer, like breath. This year, I’ve allowed myself to start sharing more of it. We recently published Bring Your Strange, a poem that felt like a declaration. And today, I want to share another piece that’s close to my heart: The Hardest Thing
This one poured through in a moment of reckoning, a conversation with truth and tenderness.
What I’ve Been Creating
This first half of 2025 has felt like a co-creation between me and Ananda, this living, breathing being that continues to evolve alongside me. She’s not just a brand, but a presence with her own rhythm and intelligence. Together, we’ve brought forward offerings that are deeply tied to my own unfolding:
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The Akhilanda Collection was a deep initiation. These pieces came from the rubble. I’ve come to understand, again and again, that the symbols and messages we bring through don’t simply arrive, they work me. They test me, break me open, ask me to live their truth before I can release them into the world. Akhilanda, the goddess of being both broken and whole, has been a fierce and tender teacher. The alligator, the cracks, the surrender, the chaos... they asked for my devotion long before they became designs. These are not just pieces of jewelry. They are medicine.
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I sat down with the wonderful Lianne for a rich podcast conversation that still lives in my bones. Speaking things aloud, naming what’s true, continues to be a practice of power for me.
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I’ve been creating guided meditations, offerings that are born from the practices I rely on in my own quiet moments. My meditation practice, even just a few minutes at the end of a long day, is where I return to my own center, again and again.
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I also created an Affirmations Audio and a fun little Affirmations Quiz, an exploration of inner language and self-talk that’s been unexpectedly transformative. Words shape our world. This is one way I’m choosing mine more carefully.
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And of course, I’ve continued to facilitate our monthly Moon Gatherings. These spaces have been nothing short of lifelines, for me and for our community. Gathering in real time, breathing and moving and reflecting together, has reminded me that I’m never doing this alone.
What I’ve Learned (So Far)
I’ve been reminded that simply showing up is perfection, and to let the rest unfold as it is meant. That tending to what I love, whether it’s my daughter, my work, or my creative life, requires me to stay close to my own pulse.
That “balance” is a myth, but presence is not. Presence is possible.
That it’s okay to say no when something doesn’t align. And that saying yes to the right things sometimes means saying no to good things.
That honoring my own energy is an act of love.
And that mamas are superheroes. (Yes, if you’re a mom reading this, I’m talking to you) Truly. The capacity we hold is breathtaking. It’s sacred. It’s relentless. And it’s real.
To Those Walking This Path Too
To anyone feeling stretched or in-between worlds, maybe between a version of you that’s no longer and one that hasn’t fully arrived, I want you to know I see you. I’m right there, too.
Let this be your reminder: your truth is worthy. Your art is worthy. Your boundaries are sacred. And your breath, your body, your being – they all deserve your own attention.
With all my love,
Christina
