Several times a year I gather the creative team of Ananda Soul in a beautiful villa space in the South of Bali for a photoshoot. Most of our yearly photoshoots are collection or campaign shoots, as you may know if you have been with us for a little while. And then there is also always one once a year in which I am the one to jump in front of the camera.
This is me today, in 2023.
You may notice, the photos are slightly different this year. :) Suddenly, it’s not only me anymore, I am not alone in these photos.
These photos are also more or less the last thing I will be doing for my first child, Ananda Soul, this year, before signing off to write one of the biggest stories of my life – one of motherhood.
As the creator of Ananda Soul my focus this year was less on creating jewelry pieces and contents for the brand, but instead I’ve let something a lot more important come through: life.
All of our creations have become inspired by the sacred creation that was taking place inside my body, guided by a higher force that was bringing through what has been loved and what was already meant before it became form.
The first step of a big journey
My pregnancy is the result of a big, intentional journey I have found myself on in the past 3 or more years. It was humbling and mesmerising at the same time. It took me many places, long before my little one became real.
As a woman past her mid-thirties (and now at 40) I had to face the big question whether I wanted to follow through with my greatest wish to be a mom one day. It is a question many of us women after we reach 35 (and even closer to our 40s) are confronted with. The answer somehow becomes a now or never. Finding the answer becomes a process nobody prepares one for – not even the ones that have already gone through it – and yet we – who don’t have children or might have but want more – need to ask ourselves this honest question, can I do it now and why? Can I be ok if it never happens?
A planned pregnancy
My Yes to this was loud and clear. So this pregnancy became something to be planned. And I have to admit, I embarked onto this journey with a lot of preparation. Trimester 0 was longer than any pregnancy. I dedicated myself to committing to my physical health and to my mental strength. To my nervous system and my resilience. I walked through journeys of getting healthy, slowing down, becoming more present, connecting with nature, learning how to regulate the nervous system, how to nourish and keep my energy clear.
I deep-dove into topics around fertility, IVF, natural birth, pregnancy and the spiritual journey that surrounds it, especially on a sacred island filled with rituals like Bali. I am excited to share more on these topics when the time is ripe.
It was an interesting exploration to find out to what lengths I was willing to go for something I wanted so much.
Giving this spirit a chance
I met her spirit long before the desire for having a baby was clear to me. Eventually this became a non-negotiable. She wanted to come through and land on this earth. I didn't know if it would work out and I'd get to meet her one day but I knew I had to try.
The unknowns of this journey have been incredibly humbling - and many say that this is just the beginning, an initiation into parenthood. I feel incredibly blessed to have the opportunity to experience this little one in my womb and am praying for a smooth, gentle and safe birth to my healthy baby.
With the many challenges our world has been facing over the past few years I made it a priority of my journey to bring this child through with a healthy and regulated nervous system. I believe that through this we are setting the foundation for a generation that embodies and can bring forward peace and calm. An important factor for today’s world. We have a choice to shape the future of our children long before we understand whether they are coming through or not, simply by looking after ourselves and becoming the best version we can possibly be. I like to call it ‘soul peace’, because it is coming from somewhere else.
Our world needs joy. And hope. May we find this in these beautiful little creatures and may they be the ones that help us bring the fragmented pieces of societies and nations into one healing place.
See you next year, as I embark onto my next big journey.
With so much love,